This blog was contributed by my dear friend Brenda. We first met while on a dogsledding trip for Veterans and have been close friends ever since. She joined us on the Camino and was gracious to share her thoughts…
I searched for the
words to describe the Camino – the problem is, this didn’t feel like an
adventure to share. It is one that must
Better late than never
and better to try and fail than never try at all…
For 30 days we
traversed mountains, rivers, grassland, farmland, scree, gravel, boulders, dirt
We overcame rain,
snow, hail, sun, pain, blisters, sleepless nights and… loneliness, ignorance,
hate, love, distractions, luxuries and obstacles.
We found simplicity. Beauty. Equality.
Mostly, we faced our
demons and found ourselves. We learn who we are away from the world, yet
closer to the real world – this
separate little cult-world lacking fakeness, media, and societal rules.
A little deeper, the
Camino is a metaphor for life. You set
an end goal of 500 miles and just head west.
Some days you have distractions, heartbreaks, and find it hard to see the
destination. Eventually, with one foot
in front of the other, every day, you arrive where you are supposed to be. Goal
achieved. Yet, as soon as you get there…
you have a midlife crisis wondering what is next. You hold on and walk to Finisterre and have
the same anxiety at the end. Eventually,
you decide to be an adult and return home – to your normal life – changed.
So, if you’ve done the
walk – you know what I’m saying. If you
haven’t, this oxymoron just makes no sense.
But, here’s my description for those you have not yet walked these 500
Each day was
simple. You wake up, grab your bag and
then you walk. A lot. Then, you get hungry and stop at the first
place you see for food; you say “Buen Camino!” to all the others you see walking
in the door. Repeat. Then, you walk
until you stop. You pay for your
room. You shower & prepare for
tomorrow (to include washing clothes, drying today’s and personal hygiene). Finally – you sleep! Then repeat.
In this simplicity,
you will find beauty – it is impossible to miss. Every day has its own picturesque
moments. The way the sun kisses the land
is incredible. The rain drops glistening
after a storm. Even the storm clouds are
amazing as they roll into your path. But
the beauty is more than the surface. It
is the ability to remember what matters in life when you have solitude in
nature. You appreciate your very life so
Another piece is that
everyone is equal here. The richest
person suffers the same hardships if they are going to complete this
journey. No shortcuts to walking. This creates its own beauty. Getting to know another’s story calms the
soul. Everyone you meet is just like
you. Walking. It feels so good to be the same as
everyone. Yet, still a very unique
snowflake. Everyone loves your
story. Everyone loves your being. Anyone on this path is a strong person. You have their respect and you give them
yours. Fear of others not understanding
is washed away. You will find some peace
It is so strange, the
days feel like they will never end, yet the weeks and milestones are left far
behind. Like life, each step seems
inconsequential, yet truthful self-reflection will show miles of adversity
overcome. It is hard to remember each
step without the milestones and pictures.
We find strength by having everything we need on our backs. And we often
find something precious to give to another soul who needs it more. Whatever you need in life, the Camino provides. It is truly miraculous and rejuvenating.
And lastly, I can’t even think about the Camino without remembering the amazing
people. You will meet soooo many people.
All for a reason, season or lifetime. Some become friends forever. The veterans
who I thought about every day, thank you for welcoming me to your circle.
Your strength and resiliency humble me. I live for you. I live to serve. You push me to be better. Thank you.
My advice to everyone
past, present and future walkers… and especially the veterans by my side or in
my mind –
This life is your story. You have such depth behind those eyes. You
all have seen darkness. You are all stronger than it. Leave it past
but stay badass. Fight for happiness, honor and integrity every day. Eyes
follow you. You all inspire others.
Even others that never speak a word to you. Soldier, you carry yourself different than
the rest of the world… Be a good example.
Here. On the Camino. Away from the real world. (Remember it? Hold onto it.)
I challenge everyone
to reflect and redefine success the Camino way. Wealth and power have no
place here. We are all equals.
Or is this the real
world? Can you live this every day? Avoid society’s trap. Build your
walls and don’t let hate, selfishness, and fear enter your heart.
Redefine success. Shift from external comparisons to
internal. Take this home. Don’t accumulate wealth or buy
Live simply so others may simply live.
Spend money on
experiences. Spend time on relationships
with people. Seek fulfillment, good health, and wellbeing. Ignore the norms, be the change. Be
fiercely independent in this world of lemmings. Seek others like you.
Never forget there is
strength in asking for support from friends. Us. Your Camino family
and your veteran family. The world is full of media & bad
advice. Come here for help. If you refuse help, you rob a friend of
their fulfillment in helping you. Give
and receive help. It is rewarding.
Beautiful souls. (That’s you.) Be
you. Fight those demons and daily grinds. You are so strong.
Stand for what you believe. You are elite. Only a small group of
people serve. Less walk the Camino. You know better than to wait for
superman. You are superman, yet that is a
lonely path. Stay strong my
brothers & sisters in arms. We are in this together no matter how far
away in time and space. I am so proud of each of you. I can’t
wait to see where our paths cross again someday. Be true to
yourself. Learn, smile, and appreciate every day.
(PS. PA has its doors open for you and I like
Oh, and if you’re still reading this, there was some not-so
awesome there… Just to keep it real…
Well… most nights you get no sleep worrying about
bed bugs. Then, you don’t care about the
bedbugs, you just wish the noisy snoring next to you to stop. I mean, how can you make noise on both inhale
and exhale? I mean… try it. This is a hard skill! Typically, you do sleep a few hours and your
bunkmate decides it is time for a restroom break and the squeaking bed springs
wake you with a start. When you look at
your phone, you realize it is not charging because there are too many on the
same circuit. Eventually, you are just
thankful there is a path to walk and morning finally comes. If you’re smart, you packed last night and
can start walking to catch sunrise on the trail. Maybe tonight will be quieter. Always be an optimist.
Anyway, another life
metaphor… Forgive the bad and remember
the good. It’s the balance of the two
that makes this world worth living. If
you’re one a down day, there will be an up.
Trust it. I promise you. And if you can’t see it…. come see me! I might be having a bad day, too. And I know a visitor will change my
2019 Memorial Camino
Private First Class Christopher R. Dixon
In about one week Veterans On the Camino (VOC) will set off on the 2019 Camino journey with six veterans. Each participating veteran has been preparing physically and mentally for many weeks for this upcoming 550 mile walk to Santiago de Compestela. As part of our journey, VOC is dedicating this Camino to our fallen brother, PFC Chris Dixon, 18, of Columbus, Ohio. It is with honor that we will carry Dixon’s memory.
Dixon was killed on May 11 2005 in Karabilah, Iraq. His amphibious assault vehicle struck an explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces. Dixon had been assigned to Marine Force Reserve’s 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Columbus, Ohio. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
Chad, Dixon’s brother, shared stories about growing up with this American hero. “Growing up in small town Ohio shaped Chris. He knew everyone, was charismatic and seemed to be liked by all. He enjoyed being outdoors, hunting, fishing and spending time with friends. He had a daredevil streak, especially when it came to riding his dirt bike.”
“Chris only lived 18 years – but he really lived them!” Chad paused, “This kid was 5 years younger than me and always wanted to hang out with me and my buddies, he would do anything to prove he could hang with the big kids. He had more grit in him than most adults I know now. So, when he decided to join the Marine Corps it came as no surprise.”
“He had it in his head that he wanted to be an 0311 infantry rifleman. That is exactly what he did.”
During Dixon’s last visit with his brother and family he spent time time deer hunting at the family cabin. Chad shared that this has now become his favorite memory of his brother. That year was his last Christmas with his family. “He left in January 2005 then was deployed to Iraq 2 months later.”
As we can only imagine, Chad shared that his family will never be the same since Chris’ death. But Chad went on to say that his memory will not be forgotten. “When I got married, we had a memorial candle and my brother’s dress blues at our table. My wife and I still wear his dog tags.” Chad and his wife welcomed a son in 2009, who is named after his American hero uncle, Chris.
Dixon is also one of the soldiers of the Eyes of Freedom: Lima Company Memorial. This memorial travels the country with life-sized portraits of the 23 heroes who all lost their lives, all from one company, all over only a period of a few months. Chad said that this Memorial “reminds us of the cost of freedom.”
PFC Chris Dixon on the left
I am honored to wear his dog tag on this journey. We will raise our glasses to toast Chris every evening and talk about him as we walk. Upon arriving at Cruz de Ferro, we will leave a stone that was given by his family. And, of course, the Compostella that represents completing of the journey, will be in Chris’ name. This will be given to his family upon return.
Private First Class Christopher R. Dixon will be a part of our Camino journey during every step, beside us in spirit as we walk that long road to the End of the Earth.
Ward retired from the Canadian army in 2017, after seven tours and 37 years of service.
Ward tells his own story. He is open, honest. As with most combat veterans, his tale is heroic and heartbreaking. For those of us who have never served or have not had someone close to us serve, it is sometimes hard to fully understand. As you read about Ward’s experiences, I challege you to place yourself in his shoes, to empathize with a combat veteran’s situation.
I have been deployed seven times. Three were United Nations peacekeeping missions and four were NATO missions. The rules of engagement for the peacekeeping missions in Cyprus and Croatia were very strict and, at times, confusing. As a Section leader on both tours, it was demanding. But also a good learning experience. The first tour, Cyprus, was not overly dangerous as it had been quiet there for some time. Croatia was more active with mortars and small arms fire directed at us. Although these peacekeeping missions were not as outright dangerous, what hit me the hardest was traveling through villages that had been ethnically cleansed. There was still food on tables, but no sign of people anywhere. Fields were covered with slaughtered pets and livestock. The images stick with me. It is something my mind’s eye often pulls into focus, as much as I would like to forget.
My other tours were in Bosnia, Afghanistan (3 times) and, finally, Israel. As an Infantry Warrant Officer in Afghanistan I did some special training to become part of a counter IED team that included an EOD team – that put us up close and personal with really big bombs. Our job was to detect and exploit IEDs in order to gather information about trends, signatures of the bomb makers, and any other information we could find. We ran from dawn to dusk, constantly. The effects of the explosions and the relentless schedule left a mark on me in ways I still cannot fully comprehend.
I believe the first rumblings I had that these experiences were affecting me started subtly in Croatia. Then, after Afghanistan, it took ahold of me. But I was too proud to admit it. I just soldiered on. It was all I knew to do.
One more short tour in Israel to make it through before retirement. It was a different type of deployment: no weapons, no uniforms. Just a go bag. We knew we were being watched everywhere we went, by both the Israelis and HAMAS.
When I returned home I knew there was something seriously wrong with my state of mind. I withdrew from activities and eventually just stopped leaving the sanctuary of my home. I could only handle the company of myself and my dogs. I was wired too tightly to be around others.
I spent two years isolated from the world. It took me that long to realize I needed help.
I was diagnosed with severe PTSD. I began therapy. Recently I attended some group courses and seminars with other veterans. I am beginning to slowly start socializing again and now have a small group of friends. But I still struggle with going outside my circle of comfort. It is still hard to accept some aspects of my experiences and the mark they left on me, but at least I now know how to approach it.
I believe Veterans on the Camino is a step forward in my recovery and I am so thankful for being selected for this opportunity.
Brian served his country for 20 years in the US Army, retiring in 2007. During his service he deployed to Iraq three times. Each time he participated in engagements that continue to haunt him to this day: IEDs, being in the direct line of fire, losing friends and brothers.
Brian’s job in the military was transportation/logistics, placing him “outside the wire” in the midst of dangerous territory on almost a daily basis. He supported the 1st armored division from Kuwait to Iraq when they were searching for Saddam Hussein. He also spent time escorting third country nationals throughout Iraq (Al-Asaad). These areas were dangerous to say the least. So much so that he often found himself having to backtrack to “round up” whomever he was escorting as they did not want to enter the territories, particularly Fallujah. Brian also spent a considerable amount of time escorting American civilians to deliver mail throughout Iraq. He ran two exhausting convoys each day, in daylight and rush hour. Prime time for enemy attacks.
Brian was exposed to multiple IED explosions during his tours. On his very first mission in Iraq, Brian was separated from the convoy after enemy contact. He was out of his truck and had shots fired at and around him. His truck ended up in unfamiliar areas, clearly increasing the risks. If that wasn’t enough, rocks and bottles were thrown at them by Iraqi civilians. He continues to have anxiety while driving. He suffers with panic attacks, especially if he feels he is lost or is uncertain about where he is going. This continues today, 13 years later.
Due to multiple IED explosions, particularly during his second tour, Brian suffers from Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He continues to struggle with difficulties in his memory, concentration, reading and writing. He has trouble retaining information. Despite these obstacles, after retiring Brian returned to school and ultimately earned his Bachelor’s degree. This was no small feat. Brian’s school path was certainly not without struggle. He initially failed his classes and required cognitive rehabilitation in order to learn how to learn again, due to his symptoms of TBI. Today, Brian continues to push through these obstacles and is working towards his Masters in Outdoor Adventure Expedition Leadership. He only has his thesis to complete to earn his degree. However, writing and focusing continue to be a struggle that he battles daily. Nonetheless, Brian continues to fight his battles and is determined to complete the Masters program.
Brian began participating in therapy shortly after his retirement, in 2008. He continues to attend both individual and group sessions with other veterans. He has good days. But he also has bad days when he does not want to get out of bed. His kids, 5 of them between the ages of 14 and 24, are his inspiration.
Brian is hopeful that this journey will help him to continue to overcome the effects of his experiences. As evident from his story, he is a fighter and looks for ways to continue to improve. Brian has been interested in walking the Camino for a few years and has been aware of the potential healing such a journey could bring. Welcome Brian. We hope the Camino brings you further along in your journey to peace and recovery.
Introducing Gavin. A Vietnam veteran from Australia and the first Vietnam veteran to participate in a VOC journey.
Gavin emigrated to Australia and was welcomed by being almost immediately scripted into the Australian military. He was deployed to Vietnam where he proudly served his country as a section leader, equivalent to a squad leader in the US military.
Gavin’s time in Vietnam was difficult at best. He spent six to eight weeks at a time patrolling the jungle, setting ambushes and searching for Vietcong. He would return for a week or so from the jungle, then be sent back out for another six to eight week stint. Gavin witnessed and participated in combat actions that are forever ingrained in his memories.
Upon returning home to Australia, Gavin was met with similar public sentiment as our veterans experienced in the US. He, along with the other soldiers returning home, were required to wear civilian clothing and fly on commercial airlines in the middle of the night in order to avoid being seen. Unfortunately, word of the soldiers’ return did not remain secret. He was met by protestors at the airport throwing things at them and jeering at them. This remains one of the difficult memories that he has worked to overcome throughout his life.
Gavin then began trying to process what he had been through in Vietnam and find his place back home. He recalls that it was nearly impossible to “fit in” as a soldier. Not only mentally and emotionally, but in appearance as well. The time was the early 1970s and “hippie” was the fashion. Soldiers stood out to all with military haircuts. There was no way to blend in back at home. And at a time when he felt scorned because he served his country, Gavin wanted to blend in.
To further complicate his situation, the social climate at that time did not recognize the difficulties a soldier had after service. There was no thought or discussion of counseling. He had no one to help him process what he had experienced in Vietnam.
Gavin struggled to adjust to regular life and work after the military. He floated around for awhile, a wanderer. However, Gavin was, and still is, a fighter with a positive perspective on life. Luckily for him, there were several members of the 7th Battalion who lived nearby. The men became a close knit group and supported one another in their transition. Today, more than 40 years later, they continue to periodically get together.
Gavin continues to have a positive perspective and is full of life. He strives to improve himself and leave a positive mark on those around him. Despite his experiences and struggles, he makes it a point to be upbeat. Gavin is a survivor. He will take this 500 mile trek to continue to process his experiences, a lifelong endeavor.
Krista is a US Army veteran. She was deployed to Saudi Arabia and Iraq during Operation Desert Storm. Her specialty was as an Arabic linguist leading to her service as an interrogator as well as an interpreter. Krista’s time in the Middle East was fraught with enemy engagement, including a barrage of scud missile attacks and the constant fear of chemical warfare. The effects of such experiences hardly need explanation.
However, for Krista there was another stressor during her service in the Middle East. As an interpreter, Krista dealt directly with Saudi men. The time was the early 1990s. Back then the Middle East was even more male dominated than it is today. With constant threats and insults, Krista was routinely reminded of that fact. They spoke to her in Arabic so her colleagues did not understand or realize what was happening. Krista kept it all to herself. She became isolated and was essentially alone.
Upon leaving the military, Krista tried to leave those memories and fears behind her. She tried to maintain an image of the perfect life. She returned to school but continued to isolate herself from others. At the same time she was trying to maintain a marriage to another veteran suffering with PTSD, also undiagnosed at that time. Krista focused all of her energy on school and her marriage. It was her way of avoiding her past.
Ultimately, Krista and her husband divorced. She raised her two daughters on her own. The time on her own left space for her untended wounds, which came back with a fury. Nightmares, panic attacks and anxiety forced her into more isolation and a downward spiral. Krista realized that she was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress – and she needed to deal with it. She had two children to raise and a life that she wanted to live. She finally began to seek treatment. In addition to her PTSD, Krista was also diagnosed with cancer and, shortly thereafter, Gulf War Illness, causing her to feel fatigued and generally sick.
But Krista is a fighter. She is working on her recovery and dealing with PTSD. After retiring from a teaching career, Krista returned to school for another Masters in Outdoor Leadership. She finds that being in nature helps her to deal with her problems better, both physically and mentally. She continues to work on herself and her recovery. While she has a ways to go, she knows her triggers and her reactions, and has made significant progress. She hopes to make further strides walking the Camino this Spring.
“As we prepare for the spring 2020 Camino, I would like to thank Chris S. for sharing his story of our meeting on the Camino last spring. ‘There is no such thing as coincidence on the Camino’ holds true. Check out his story below. If you know of a Veteran who is struggling and looking for a way to put life in perspective, this just might just be what they need. Please put them in touch. Also, if you are able to help our cause – every little bit helps to make this possible.”
The Camino de Santiago has been
walked for over a thousand years as one of the three pilgrimages of Catholics,
in this day age it has now morphed into a pilgrimage for many reasons; 1st
– it is still a pillar of Catholicism, 2nd – personal reasons, 3rd
– group walks for celebrations or anniversaries, guided walking tours of Spain
and hosts of other reasons.
I was on my own
journey walking the “De la Plata” route when serendipity raised its magic wand
in the village Rabanal and a unique event occurred (people who have walked the
Camino often talk of the “spiritual events” that exist along the many routes
and those who are “aware” will recognize them). As I walked up the hills in
Rabanal I stumbled across an intriguing hostel and decided to enter the
establishment. The pleasant smells of baking banana bread and scented candles
wafted across my olfactory senses. The
proprietor, Kim entered the room and after basic introductions and room price
settlement, we began a conversation as to why each of us had walked the
Camino. This conversation, like all conversations,
morphed in the notion that the “way” is a healing journey. I explained to Kim that I was a US Army
Veteran who was seeking ease the memory of my wartime experiences by taking a
long walk. I had read many books by
others who had experienced similar events in their lives (M. Somerset Maugham,
Ernest Hemmingway and Stephen Crane). I
was trying to find a rational for the events that I and many others have
endured, and how and why I was reacting in negative ways to the memories of past
Kim then told me about a group of men and
women veterans that were also walking the Camino to find some relief for their
issues. I was interested in meeting up
with this group and asked of Kim if she could put me in contact with the group
leader. She immediately sent a message
to Brad (He created Veterans on the Camino “VOC” as a non-profit organization
to assist military veterans by walking the Camino de Santiago) to see if I
could join up with them and be amongst my fellow veterans. Brad agreed and stated that he would be in
Burgos on “Palm Sunday” with the rest of the group and that I could meet them
there and walk with them from that point on.
The next morning
after coffee and a basic breakfast that Kim made, we jumped into her little
pizza deliver van known as “Giuseppe” and drove down the mountain to Astorga to
drop me off at the main bus station.
After a short wait the bus arrived. Kim and I parted ways, I told her that I would see her in about two weeks. Her reply, “the teapot will be on, fresh loaves of banana bread would be warm, and dinner will be decided upon after our arrival.” The bus departed heading east across the northern plains of Spain. Rolling hills covered with fields of grain growing in the Spanish sun and sinuous roads used by farmers and maintenance personnel crisscrossed the landscape. In some locations giant wind turbines stood like a vanguard of stationary Army against the blue sky as their aero designed wings rotated in the breeze in a steady governed pace providing light and warmth to the people they served. During the trip the bus stopped in several smaller out post villages to drop off and pick up passengers as we continued to meander east toward Burgos.
Brad Genereux and Veterans on the Camino
I arrived in
Burgos later that Friday and set about locating my hotel room for the next
couple of days. Burgos is a wonderful city
that is located on the Arlanzon River that cuts through the Northern Iberian
plains. A long-developed promenade on
either side of the river allows for residents and visitors a pleasant path to
walk along as they explore the many treasures of Burgos. Store fronts and apartments line the northern
side of the river, museums and a walking path along the southern bank.
When Sunday arrived,
I went to meet Brad for the first time. I crossed the river and entered the
walled city via the “Arco de Santa Maria” which led me directly to the Cathedral
courtyard. Earlier in the day I stood in
awe of the “Palm Sunday” processions. Men, women and children walked in their
finest as they carried their respective “floats” or re-enacted the waving of
the palms as a way of signifying the arrival of the messiah through the streets
of Jerusalem 2000 yrs prior.
Any Soldier or Sailor who has served in the
military for any length of time can spot a warrior just by posture and presence. The uniform may be retired, the hair
lengthens, the beard may thicken, and the adornment of civilian vestments may
decorate our frames, but the artifact of “presence” never leaves. It is one of the “Perks” that we leave
military with that very few outside of the military earn or know about. It is the unspoken lexicon that we earned
during our years of service and we use it to see other warriors in the seas of humanity
that occupy this planet.
exchanged welcomes and sentiments of approval for our service and the work that
we did while we served. We talked about
experiences of daily life of the military; MOS, service differences,
responsibilities associated rank, deployments and other commonalities and
differences of military life throughout the years. Like any soldier or sailor, emotions of
pride, aggravation of bureaucracy, and love of the life were expressed. We also talked about the current life that we
were living post military, and hardships that we had encountered post career;
learning to return to civilian life, dealing with PTSD, adapting to earned
physical wounds of military service, dealing with the veterans administration
and how to adapt to family and friends post military life.
Brad explained to
me his story about the Camino and the positive experiences he had gained by
walking. He told me that he had written
a book about his prior discoveries while walking the Camino; he had found some
peace and solace in his mind from walking the long distance between the cities,
across the vast plains and mountains of Spain. He also noted many physical
changes that he developed from these pilgrimage walks. He later explained to me that he also
developed a “Non-Profit” organization to guide veterans who were experiencing
issues (PTSD, physical pain and other issues) post military life. He explained that the journey had brought
positive results to many whom he had guided along the pilgrimage of St James.
then began to ask about the other veterans that he was assisting along the
walk. He told me that they were a
diverse group of men and women who had been selected to walk the Camino by his
organization and who had met the criteria.
Four US service personnel, one French Foreign Legion, one Polish, one
Dutch and a group of other people that had attached to his group. The military personnel were a diverse group,
and each was working through issues that had developed due to events post war
and post military service. Even the group of personnel who attached, were also
associated with military in some way and so they also knew the life and the
events that can plague a soldiers mind and body,
evening we all sat down to have a drink in the shadow of the Burgos cathedral. I met many of the group and was entertained by
each of them as they told their stories of military service and the lives they
were currently living. After a couple of
hours I asked Brad what was the time and location of the rally point for the
next day so that we could begin walking.
next day we met at our agreed location and over coffee con leche and croissants,
we set what the next location was the goal for the days walk. Guide books and
phone apps opened, each of us calculated distances, the locations of possible
mid day breaks to obtain food and water or a nap, and the final destination for
the days walk and the location of hostel or alburge for sleeping that was
located in that village or city. Each day the average distance was around 15 to
18 miles a day, with an occasional 20 miler if necessary.
As I began to walk with these men and women
over the next few days I would learn their names, where they were from, why
they joined the various services. I also begin to elicit their stories about
the military service, their family lives, why and of what benefit they would
receive by walking the Camino. It was
evident that many were dealing with some sort of mental issues related to
military service. The physical wounds
were not much of an issue in restricting our movements, as most of us were
physically intact. All of us had bumps,
broken bones, arthritic changes and other physical manifestation due to
military service (Yes, military service is a contact sport) from our different
jobs; we were paratroopers, engineers, scouts, medics, intell, communications
and a host of other military specialties.
But the physical demands of just being a soldier took its toll on our
bodies over the years we served.
There were also
myriads of events that each of us encountered during our military service had
left haunting scars on our minds (these are the wounds that are not visible to
the average person, but can be seen by friends and family as they manifest
changes in our behavior). In some cases it may have been one event, but for many
of us it was combinations of events. The
event(s) in many of our lives was usually some sort of war trauma; engagements
with the enemy, indirect fire on our locations (mortar, rocket or road side
bombs; IED’s), sexual assaults, or the provision of medical care to the
wounded; soldiers, enemy combatants or civilians caught in the crossfire.
The expression of
the mental scars could be private or public depending on the person, but due to
the stoic nature of being a soldier or sailor we blunt our emotions to remain
functional in our jobs while in War Theater or at our “normal jobs” in garrison.
As we are taught from day one, “mission first”. This mentality allows us to complete missions
that are critical to success of the unit.
Afterward we begin to process the events that occurred, and from that
moment the realizations begin to sink in.
The “Oh Shit” moments that we bore witness to ingrain in our memories
become permanent within our psychological make up.
From the day when
we encountered “ a specific event, or felt the culmination of many events”, we
as veterans become susceptible to being assaulted mentally or physically by
them. The assaults can be random due to
some “trigger” in our daily lives, others manifest in our sleep as nightmares,
and others just arrive like an unwelcomed guest during a garden party. In most cases and they begin to take their
toll on our lives. Our minds change from
that moment on, we are on different emotional ground. The change to the mind can become permanent;
we cannot un-see or un-feel what occurred.
As time passes we learned to function as if we were still “normal” but
the emotional ground that we now reside on is unstable; blunted emotions,
physical and emotional outbursts, alcohol and drug abuse, isolation from others
(this includes; family, friends, and society in general), panic attacks, fear of
loud noises, fear of crowds, and many of these events land us with encounters
with law enforcement. Other issues that
manifest after the scars formed on the mind were medical issues that are internal
in the body. Hypertension, heart
arrhythmias, blood glucose problems, lung issues, headaches, cancers, systemic inflammation,
small brain strokes, muscle stiffness, headaches of all types (cluster and
migraine) and fat changes in the body (obesity, fatty liver disease and cholesterol
Because of these issues, both mental and
physical, many of us were on medications to control and lessen the effects of
our service. Some of us were taking psychotropic drugs to calm our minds; some
of us were using hypnotics so that we could garner a few hours of undisturbed
sleep. Some of us were also on
anti-cholesterol, hypertension, anti-inflammatory, cardiac medications and host
of others to relieve our physiology changes within our bodies. And some of us, well we self medicate to
alleviate the stressors that plague our minds. While they do provide some
relief from the issues, they also take a toll on physical and mental well being
of our minds too.
One of the positive effects of being in the military is the physical aspect. From day one we are challenged every day with physical activity. Push ups, sit ups, chin ups, swimming, running and long distance walking and a host of many more physical challenges. As many of us had served for decades we had developed the mental and physical ability to walk the long distances without much issue. Yes, there were the occasional blisters that formed, muscles of the legs and back along with the joints of the body would be sore after a day of long walking but we could over come those issues with Motrin, Compeed, wine, warm showers and warm bed to sleep in.
As days passed and we continued to
walk the Camino Frances from Burgos and across the Mesaita to Hontanas,
Teradillos de la Templarios, Leon, and to Astorga. Leaving Astorga we could look back on the
plains of Northern Spain while we began our assent into the mountains of
Galicia, this is where the terrain would become a roller coaster of up and down
mountain ranges for the next couple of weeks.
By the time we left Astorga, all of us had been walking for over a month
or more and all of us had walked over 350 miles, but we still had 165 miles
more before we would arrive in Santiago de Compestella.
changes were evident. Our body mass had changed; our legs had developed greater
muscle mass, our shoulders had become broader from carrying our backpacks, our
feet had become calloused, and our joints had become supple again. Yet our waists and our facial profiles had
dropped in diameter and shape, we had all become lean from the extensive
walking under load across the Iberian Peninsula. The load that we all carried was both physical
and also mental. The physical weight that we all carried was our personal gear;
the mental weights we carried were also personal, but could not be gauged by conventional
systems of weights and measurements. But
as we walked day in and day out both sets of weights became much lighter due to
increases in strength. As time passed we
also found that we could walk further than the week before, and what were once
daunting distances were now seen as just the next mission for the day and each
of us looked forward to walking the distance that Brad had laid out.
aspect that I had begun to notice in many of members, was that the minds had
become calmer the mental weights had become lighter due to many events along
the trail. The once over active minds
that were full of concerns about our lives both current and past events had
given way to internal peace. Was it the
walking and the associated body changes? Was it looking forward to the next
rise on the horizon, castle, plain, valley, field or orchard? Was it the breakfasts,
coffee or beer breaks, dinner, or was it the sense of accomplishment at the end
of each day?
Possibly one of
the reasons was that each of did so well as we walked, is that from the day we
chose to walk the Camino we had a daily goal to achieve. As each day began we had to make a known
distance to the next point that Brad had determined as the stopping point for
that day. Some days it was 10 miles, others,
the distance could be greater than 20.
It was up to each of us – what we believed we could complete. But because there was a camaraderie that had developed,
the distances were enjoyable to walk. Some
of the miles we walked alone, others we walked with one or more of the group
and talked about life; telling jokes, challenging each other to move and cross
distance, talking about family life and our days in the service, our minds
became occupied with goal achievement and friendly gaffes at one another as if
we were still in a small military unit where we are family.
At the end of the
day as we all checked into our accommodations.
We would drop our packs, lay out our sleeping systems on beds, and then
change our clothing and find a table to have a sit down conversation about the
days events. Beer, wine, soda or water where
purchased and we would talk about the days walking. What we saw or experienced,
people we meet along the trail, how our bodies felt “my dogs are barking”, “my back
is sore”, “Doc…. I have blisters” or “who has any Motrin?” Usually after one or two rounds of drinks we
would all retire to our personal needs; wash and rinse out clothing and hang to
dry, shower and clean the road dirt off, remove inner soles from boots and let
them air dry or lay out in the Spanish sun to feel its warmth, and many of us
would take a nap or rest before dinner.
Dinner for the
most part was a group event. The hostels
or alburges or local restaurants would provide a pilgrims meal for a small fee.
It consisted of three courses of food
and drinks of water or wine; first would usually be a soup or pasta course. Normally
we had four to five choices. The Second
phase was a protein based meal, again four to five choices but usually had a
large course of potatoes associated with it to fill a pilgrims body with the
necessary calories for the next day walk.
Finally there was a desert course.
But the most important part of the meal was the salute to the fallen
that we all carried in our memories.
Brad had in the past walked the Camino for the fallen and their
families. He carried a small token of
them and before we began, he would say a toast to the fallen soldier he carried
in his soul. Each of us would raise our
glasses and toast not only Brad’s solider but the ones that we also carried in
At the end of the
eating each of us would retire to our beds.
We would begin rituals of re-packing our gear, laying out our cloths for
the next day, looking at maps of where we were and what we would come across
the next day, call and text love ones back home, or find others we had made
friends with and hold further conversations over a local Spanish wine or beer.
The next morning as the roosters crowed and sun rose in the east they were telling us it was time to move on and the cycle would repeat itself again. Wake up, change sleeping cloths for walking gear, cover blisters, put on socks, repack sleeping gear, brush teeth, lace up boots load our packs to our backs and rally our group outside. Find coffee, bread and juice, eat and begin walking the next section of the Camino de Santiago.
Santiago de Compostella and the end of the earth
After weeks of
walking, some of us had broken away from the main group for various reasons; to
rest our bodies and allow them to heal, to see historical sites in greater
depth or to walk a different path. As trails enter Santiago de Compestella one
can see the cathedral off in the distance as you summit “Monte do Gozo”. The crest of hilltop is adorned with a large
of statue of two pilgrims who are elated that they have reached the valley
where Santiago de Compestella lays. Most of pilgrims as they reach the summit
almost all mimic the poses of the statue; we are elated that we have made it,
groups of people will stop and hug each other, and others take photos of
themselves next to the statues or with the Cathedral in the distance. Busses of
people also wander around the statue taking photos and talking to walking
pilgrims who have just summited the hilltop.
Now the walk
becomes hurried, as you are close enough to see Cathedral and it becomes a
point of navigation to one of the last legs of the journey. The goal of many is to stand in the glory of
“Obradoiro Square” and know they have become part of fraternity of pilgrims
over the ages that have also stood in the vast space in awe and elation.
Many in our crew
arrived into Santiago de Compestella around the 5th to the 8th of
May 2019. Upon arrival into the city we
found our way to the “pilgrims office” to obtain our Compestella to enter our
names of the roll of others who have completed the walk and to validate that we
had completed the walk of St James and obtain our physical paper
Compestella. To display somewhere in our
homes that we have actually completed this journey.
Then we made our way to Cathedral so that we
could enter. There are several sacred
objects rituals that most of us who have read the stories know to expect or
encounter. To stand in front of the main
alter designed by Pena de Toro and bask in its 36 Solomonic columns or wander
in amazement of the carved vine tendrils. Then to enter the cavern beneath the
alter and stand or kneel at the ossuary of St James the Apostle and his
disciples Athanasius and Thoedomirus and pray in what ever manner one believes
will be heeded. Then await the pilgrims
blessing or if your lucky to bear witness to the blessings of the pilgrims with
the swaying “Botafumeiro” that fills the Cathedral with blessings of smoke and
the wonderful aromas of myrrh, frankincense, copal and a host of others that
bathe the olfactory senses in pleasant waves.
As this experience ended we returned to our digs and prepared for the
next and final leg of the Camino.
journey to Santiago de Compestella is not the final destination for many of us walking
the Camino. From Santiago, the group
made it’s way further west to shore line of either Muxia or Finisterre, as
these locations are the final legs of the journey. Both locations have unique spiritual significance
rooted in the Celtic and Roman traditions and rituals. To the many generations of pilgrims who have
walked the Camino; to watch the sun set at the “western edge of the world” is
the final leg.
There is the battle of the Atlantic and the Spanish shoreline; the emerald sea rages against the Iberian land mass. The sun begins to set in the west and the blue sky begins to change colors in a myriad of hues; yellows give way to oranges, oranges to red and finally the blanket of darkness begins to over power the diwlinding light of the sun as it sets, and the familiar star patterns begin to shine in eastern sky and make their way over us and race towards western the sky. Many of us took photos of the event to complete our documentation of our journey and commemorate the even, but each of us knew that in the recesses of our minds that we would not forget the events of the Camino. From initial footsteps of where ever we began our Camino to the final sun set on the western shores of Spain. The travels of the Vets on the Camino will forever be etched in each of our memories.
Beginning today, 15 September 2019, the applications for the spring 2020 Camino are available.
A 550 mile pilgrimage on the “Camino de Santiago”
On or around 1 April 2020, the group of Veterans who are selected will begin walking from Saint Jean Pied du Port, France. The journey will require approximately 35 days and averaging about 15 miles walking per day. Including travel days, you can expect to be away for about 40 days. We will walk beyond Santiago de Compostella to Finisterre – “The end of the Earth.”
VOC will provide your boots and backpack, all travel expenses and a daily per diem to cover lodging and food.
If you are still reading – and still interested – this is how you qualify:
Be a military Veteran from any coalition nation
Completely and legibly fill out the application form for consideration by the selection committee
Have a valid passport or applicable identification card to permit travel to the EU
Have 40 days available
Be able to converse in basic English
Understand that this is not a vacation
If you meet this criterion and would like to apply, email VOC using the “Contact” tab on this website. An application form will be emailed to you.
Applications must be returned by 2400 EST, 15 November 2019.
A phone interview will take place after the application is received and an independent selection committee will evaluate all applications and advise the VOC board of directors which applicants are recommended for participation.
Selected Veterans will be notified by 15 January 2020.